


Coming Out

by paulmcfartney



Series: McLennon Drabbles [1]
Category: McLennon - Fandom, The Beatles
Genre: Beatles Slash, M/M, McLennon, another episode of me writing shit 1000 word drabble thingies, anyway, bye
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-11
Updated: 2018-01-11
Packaged: 2019-03-03 09:39:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13338534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paulmcfartney/pseuds/paulmcfartney
Summary: req: "Paul coming out to John as bisexual and then John freaking out bc he's in love with Paul and now he has a chance"





	Coming Out

“I’ve been needing to talk to you about something.” The sentence echoed like a broken record over and over again in my head. Paul’d never been one to get overly-nervous about anything, dancing through life without a care in the world. This was worrisome, as I could hear the obvious tremor in his voice. He hid it well, his eyes remaining calm as we sat down on the squeaking mattress crammed in the corner of the tiny back room of the club.

My heart was thrumming in my ears when he began talking in that smooth as honey voice, and I prayed to something that he couldn’t hear the shake when in my breath when I inhaled. “Well I uh, I really dunno how to describe how I feel, y'know,” Paul started, hands balling up the stained sheets from his nerves. “It’s difficult, ‘cos I don’t fully understand it myself.” My heartbeat picked up rapidly in my chest as I tried to focus intently on his fluttering eyes. Christ, he was making it sound like–no, don’t think that. Don’t you dare get your hopes up like that, John Lennon. Paul was as straight as an arrow, and from what I’d seen of him the past few months in Hamburg, he wouldn’t be changing anytime soon.

His doe eyes locked with mine, the first hint of fear that I’ve seen all night expressed from the small lamp sat in the corner of the room. “There’s really no easy way to say this. I just wanna let you know, ‘cos you’re my best mate and it’s somethin’ important,” he continued, our gazes breaking when he looked down at his fingers fiddling anxiously in his lap. “I just hope you don’t view me any differently than you do now, oh God I sound fuckin’ ridiculous.” He squeezed the bridge of his nose, frustrated. Out of support, I laid a steady hand on his shoulder, trying to help him get out whatever was so bloody important that we had to be completely alone to talk about it. My heartbeat continued to pick up by the second at the contact. “Christ, Paulie. I would never do that to you. Besides, you’re my bloody partner in crime. I’d probably wither and rot on the side of the road if you weren’t at my side,” I spoke as sincerely as I possibly could in attempt to reassure him.

A weak smile spread across Paul’s face and he took a deep breath, his eyes closing momentarily before he exhaled shakily. “Alright. I dunno how to say it proper, but uh, I’m sort of interested in, uh, both women and men.” The words fell from his lips and floated in and out of both of my ears. I was seemingly frozen to my seat, not totally believing what he’d just said. I have a chance. I have a fucking chance with him, Jesus Christ. “Sorry, what?” I asked, in complete disbelief and needing to hear it again just to make sure I wasn’t going crazy. His arched eyebrows furrowed together, but that soft smile was unrelenting. “I dunno the proper term for it really, I just know that I’m attracted to both genders.” Paul’s eyes were pleading me silently, waiting for me to say something in response.

I sat for a moment to let it sink in completely, my body humming with excitement and a newfound electricity. Thank God my mind wasn’t playing tricks on me. “It’s alright if you’re disgusted with me. I know that it’s wrong, illegal even, but I just can’t keep it in anymore, y'know,” he sighed, still trying desperately to coax a response out of me.

I found myself nodding in agreement with his last sentence, my hand placed on the sheets between our crossed legs. “No no, I’m not disgusted about it or anythin’, just a little shocked is all. I can’t say that I expected it,” I managed to choke out amongst my hammering heartbeat. “You shouldn’t be bloody ashamed of what you feel. Everyone deserves the right to love who they choose.” Paul smiled lightly, thankful that I was as accepting as I was. I felt my heart flutter in my poor chest at the sight, involuntarily smiling in response.

“I’m glad that you’re the one that I can talk to about anything,” he uttered after the slight awkward silence that had fallen between us. “Thanks for not, y'know, bein’ angry with me about it. It really means a lot.” With that he stood up and ruffled my hair slightly, causing the hair on the back of my neck to stand on end. Looking up at him, I could’ve sworn that I saw a tender, loving glint in his warm eyes. I nodded, not entirely knowing what to say next out of sheer shock of what had just happened.

Paul left without another word, the thin door closing behind him gently, leaving me sat unmoved on the mattress. This had to be another dream. It seemed completely unreal, like something that my mind had just made up as a fantasy that would seemingly never come true. It wasn’t a dream, however, as I found myself pinching my clothed side hard enough to draw blood. My veins coursed with an entirely new feeling: hope. I was shaking uncontrollably, a wide smile spread across my face in sheer joy. The one man I was almost sure that I was fucking in love with was also interested in men, maybe even me.

I saved that thought for another day, however, as my mind just couldn’t stray from the way his eyes drooped, how his mouth curled upwards in joy that his feelings were valid, and Christ–that look in his eyes before he scurried out of the room. Twenty minutes ago, I was convinced that I had a zero percent chance of even holding his bloody hand. Hope for the future buzzed through my spine and down through my fingertips as I laid down, clutching the sheets that now faintly smelled of him. Before I fell asleep, I could swear that I heard the quiet squeak of the door, followed by a gentle palm stroking my cheek. Maybe I wasn’t so hopeless after all.


End file.
